Dissappointedables

they can't all be winners!
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- Ophelia Oliphrat, a social worker who went through the hassle of arranging a "discrete online want ad relationship" only to be disappointed when she recognized her partner
- Fe Hilyard, a freelance author who wonders if anyone could possibly be impressed by that
- Voncile Hollar, a secretary who still can't keep a straight face when someone verbally describes themselves as "woke"

- Chelsea Cardiganhaver, a school counselor who is fluent in 17 dialects of dissappointed
- Meagan Mead, a fitness instructor / warfare miniatures enthusiast who has yet to be impressed by any pickup line
- Qiana Fishman, a swim instructor who questions the maturity of students and students' parents